if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
Blood type: $$$
Unknown (via spuandi)
i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they yell at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again
I also hate when you do this and then they tell the entire family, neighborhood, their workmates, and everyone in the entire world about it.
And they wonder why I never tell them anything anymore